Learning self-discipline is like fighting a war. This is because your body is going to battle you all the time along the way. Many people fail to develop long-lasting self-discipline because they don’t have a crucial component that prevents them from losing this battle. The one thing is “inspiration”, otherwise referred to as the “Why.”
This name is given because anyone who is trying to learn self-discipline should start by identifying why they want to improve. “Why” is what keeps you on course when you’re surrounded by temptation, and what you should talk about every time you feel like giving up.
So before you start changing your entire lifestyle to be more organized, take a moment to figure out the “Why” that keeps you going. Once you’ve known that , you will be much more ready to tackle these four common barriers that make self-discipline so difficult to master.
- Unrealistic Ideals
You’ve probably dreamed about what your life will look like after you’ve worked hard and made the adjustments you intend to make. By then, you might have began your own business, sculpted the body you’ve always desired, or finally made your life-long dreams come true. The reality is, everyone has these sorts of dreams, creating what psychologists call an “ideal self.”
The true self is basically what we hope to be. Unlike our real self, which represents who we are, how we act and what we look like our ideal self, is totally imaginary, but that doesn’t mean they’re worthless.
Your inner self leads you through life by giving you something to look out to. Yet people don’t realize how attainable our perfect self is. The key is to identify the exact parts of your ideal self that you want to develop.
For example, if your ideal self is hard-working and efficient when your real self is more procrastinating, then you know how to concentrate on building a more focused work ethic and increased productivity.
But here is where situations get a little tricky, not all the ideal self is healthy. In reality, many people’s ideal selves harm them a lot more than they support. It happens because people create impractical or unlikely visions of themselves and then get overwhelmed as they know how much work is needed to get there.
In top of that, people tend to work on developing, materialistic ambitions instead of making things that actually make them happy. So one might spend years imagining himself as a rich bachelor on a private island, but never pause to think upon the kind of person that they really want to become in the near future.
This is where “inspiration” comes into play.Knowing the “why” will help you form your perfect self and figure out which things are most important for you. Therefore, try to develop an image of yourself that is not only attainable, but actually makes you proud to be. Once you have gotten that done, you can start taking small steps to match your true self with your ideal.
- Short-term commitment
While this is completely at odds with the way we are genetically conditioned, it is also one of the most vital aspect of self-discipline.
Suppose that you’re stuck in between two restaurants, and that you’re trying to decide which one to eat. Restaurant No. 1 is your favorite burger spot, you know that the menu item is filled with unhealthy fats, but it tastes and looks a lot better than the salads at Restaurant No. 2.
Our instincts tell us to go to the restaurant no. 1. Sure, a burger may contribute to stomach ache and some weight gain, but the immediate positive payoff of a tasty burger is higher than that of a salad. Essentially, this is how our minds work without any kind of self-discipline. We’re behaving in ways that benefit us in the short term while losing the long term.
And, what about someone who exercised self-discipline? Is their brains asking them to go to a safer restaurant? In reality, this is a pretty common misconception about organized citizens. Just because someone has the will to make a better choice, it doesn’t mean they weren’t tempted like everyone else.
But instead of rewarding themselves in the short term, self-disciplined people make a conscious decision to focus on the long term, and they have to keep making these tough decisions every time their biology tries to mislead them.
This is arguably the biggest reason why it’s so hard to stay disciplined as soon as you get started and why proper motivation is crucial to success. If you don’t have the motivation to focus continuously on the long term, then, regrettably, you are going to be going back into old bad habits.
- Lack Of Control
Whether in your home or over the weekend, there are a lot of methods to get common temptations and distractions out of the way, because you’re basically in complete control of the environment. And, if you’re looking to be more successful, you should turn off your phone, put on a soundproof headset, turn off your wifi, or do a some things to enhance productivity.
In this kind of isolated space, it’s much easier to get rid of bad habits and start creating good ones, but what happens when you add to all the extra responsibilities of daily life? For several individuals, that’s when self-discipline is completely dissolved, because you can’t actually regulate every aspect of your life, especially at school or at work.
Say that you’re trying to exercise in the afternoons, but one day, your boss makes you work late, you don’t have the stamina to go to the gym by the time you get home. And, then, you want to relax and watch TV.
It may not seem like a lot at the moment, but what occurs when you have to stay late at work the next day, again? Without job, it would be easy to find time to exercise on a daily basis, but the pressure of a busy day can be enough to excuse a bad habit.
Or maybe you’re determined to stop playing the lottery because you keep getting into your savings. You’ve been doing a fine job of avoiding any talk of the lottery, until a giant mega-million out-door advertisement suddenly appears on your way to work.
Just remembering your bad habits can sometimes bring them back in full swing. So, what are you going to do? When it comes to handling compulsions, you’ve probably heard the expression out of sight, out of mind, but the truth is that you can never ever get rid of them entirely.
You’re supposed to do your best to take care of any cravings you can control, but be ready for when they unavoidably show up. If you feel like you should sit in front of a TV or purchase another lottery ticket, take a moment to remember why you’re trying to change. That way, you can exercise denying bad habits while reinforcing the motivation you need to keep on pushing.
- Social secrecy
Few individuals want to concede that there’s something they’re planning to get rid of in their life. If you have a tendency to eat too much junk food, or if you don’t exercise, you probably haven’t told some of your friends that you’re looking at making these changes.
Even when you do something that is ultimately good for you, it might be awkward to admit that you had any weak points in the first place.
This is particularly difficult when you are the only one in your selected group of friends who’s trying to cope with this issue. So why is this secrecy so obtrusive when you’re trying to learn self-discipline? Since you haven’t told anybody about your new habits, you might be able to crack them when you’re with other individuals.
Visualize you’re trying to change your eating habits by taking out fattening foods, usually you’d never be tempted to go to a pizza place, but what if you’re out with all your buddies and they’re ready to having pizza. You just don’t want to sit there watching all your friends eat.
So maybe you’re going to determine to let yourself cheat because this is a special event. Regrettably, this cheating can quickly become a bad habit of its own, tearing down all the good habits you’ve worked to build up.
How are you going around this obstacle and overcome? It’s fairly simple, actually. Tell your friends and family that you’re making adjustments to your life, and you’re so proud of your achievements. There’s no shame in finding a way to make yourself happier and stronger.
So don’t be scared to tell the individuals you’re interested in. In reality, they may be able to help by going to a gym with you, recommending healthier places, or just providing support when you feel defeated.
Postponement or procrastination is the practice of “leaving things for tomorrow”. If this attitude is repeated frequently in our day to day activities, it can limit us and prevent us from achieving our goals.
Postponement is simply not acting, so the person misses the opportunity to achieve success and develop his confidence.
When I am asked at conferences about the classic,long standing question: about whether a leader is made or born, the answer is always “done”. Here is one of the reasons why “it is done.”
A leader does not lose the opportunity to develop his confidence and his security, he does not delay.
He knows the negative consequences of postponing, his level of confidence and security will diminish, a high performance leader would never attempt against the non-development of these vital elements for his motivation and for the growth of his leadership level.
The relief generated by the postponement, as all the processes that come from the ego are false, the postponement comes from the ego because it demands sacrifice, the ego does not want sacrifice, it wants to receive without giving. Postponement if used regularly leads to guilt, frustration, anguish and depression. The person cannot try to execute what was previously proposed, so postponement is the first enemy of self-discipline, because it is just the opposite. It is the characteristic that defines the ineffective person, and his lack of determination to act will end up having an impact on his social, professional and personal life.
A singular effect of postponement is that it is applied to a greater extent with what the person proposes, with the orders or favors of other people, for fear of suffering a negative assessment, the postponer tends to comply.
3 Reasons For Postponement
Perfectionism: I recently heard a phrase said by speaker Mari Carmen Obregon: “It is better to have something, than to have nothing for fear of not being perfect . ” It reminded me that the perfectionist always wants to do everything excellently, even if he knows he doesn’t have the time and concentration to do something perfect, he doesn’t start it. Perfectionism is the main reason why a person acquires the habit of postponing.
External motivation: To the person who usually motivates externally in a wrong way, if the environment does not provide a reason why acting usually postpones their actions. Something that does not happen to the person who is motivated by their conscience, these people beyond any environment (favorable or unfavorable) remain with enthusiasm and great motivation.
By rebellion to an authoritarian style: Many people show their anger with those who assign pressures to postpone their tasks, it is a way of expressing their anger at the authority or the poor communication of the tasks to be performed. Nobody likes to perform a task that is asked badly, the lack of motivation to do it is reflected with the postponement until it is done with the minimum interest.
3 Characteristics Of The Postponer:
Idealists They do not know the implication of correctly executing tasks on the material plane before reaching their highest or most abstract objectives. That is why they imagine, ramble and do not lower their mental creations to reality, they stay in their abstract thinking without giving importance to materialize their ideas, they end up delaying the actions
They do not tolerate frustration. The fear of failure and disappointment is one of the reasons to postpone, before it goes wrong they prefer not to take risks and stay in their comfort zone.
Low perseverance When things get tough, posterponers often give up, collapse under pressure and set aside their goals.
Delegation, good time management and adopting an active and decisive role in the face of tasks is the most advisable to normalize the postponement disorder. On the other hand, exercising intellectual skills and emotional resources is very important. Many times it falls into postponement due to not being able to perform various tasks or not being under the right emotion. It usually happens that the person is overcome by the tasks or basically has no desire to do it, which does not have another alternative given the circumstances to postpone until you find a viable solution.
Negativity constitutes one of the main elements that prevent individuals from achieving self discipline. Negativity drain strength and imparts fear.If you have no strength you cannot achieve self discipline. Where there is negativity there is fear and frustration. Constant fear destroys our immune system. It brings uneasiness to our mind ,preventing it from developing self-discipline.