What not to do after divorce is not known to a lot of people. This should not be so! Nearly half of all first marriages result in divorce. According to the American Psychological Association, the divorce rate between second and third marriages is also greater. Ensure that you do not do these things after divorce.
1.Don’t make any dramatic physical changes
For the time being, avoid tattoos and piercings. While it’s normal to feel “rebellious” after a divorce or significant separation, permanently altering your body is something you may regret shortly afterwards!
2. Do not expect your ex being fair.
As is the case for anything else in existence, we can never alter another person’s behavior. We can just improve ourselves. If our standards are set so high, particularly if our ex has a history of conflict and violence, we often crash to the ground when our expectations are not reached. The best way you can do to assist is to concentrate mindfully on being the reasonable guy — and then assume that he notices and improves his behavior.
3. Don’t reunite with an ex.
This person was designated as a “ex” for a cause. Looking up somebody you dated in the past is akin to reaching for an old jumper that fits poorly but is very comfortable. Having comfort sex may be detrimental to both you and your ex. When you climax, you raise your hormone, testosterone, and oxytocin levels, which can confuse your judgment and make you become more close to someone who isn’t right for you than you should.
4. Don’t skip counseling.
Absence in counseling is almost often a failure after divorce, since it is painful for almost all. If you were dissatisfied with your last psychiatrist, seek out another. There are thousands available — select one for which you click. You must focus on yourself to repair the bruises before you can return to the dating community in a safe manner.
5. Don’t speak badly of your spouse on social media.
If you need to vent, contact your mother or friends. Do not publish it on Facebook or Instagram for us to see. It will do you no good — in reality, it will probably do you damage.
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6. Don’t isolate yourself from your positive, married friends.
Contact your mates to let them that you are always interested in attending their meals, gatherings, and children’s festivities. Married people still lack the knowledge and clarity necessary to navigate the seas of good friends divorcing, and they might use your advice and clarity. If you have buddies who “dump” you, they were never true friends. Eliminate them to make room for new friends who can elevate you and wish you the best.
7. Don’t start dating without a plan.
We always choose what is convenient over what is intrinsically correct. If you don’t understand why your marriage failed, your position in it (yes, you did — we all do), and the kind of spouse who will make you happier in the next phase of your life, odds are you’ll wind up with someone who is a carbon copy of your ex in some way.
I promise there is a happier outcome at the end of the divorce path — we see them all the time. Follow these seven laws to get started, and you’ll be well on the way to reclaiming your happiness in the shortest period of time possible.
8. Don’t Develop Addiction
Numerous men who divorce engage in heavy drinking, excessive employment, casual intercourse, and sometimes grow an opioid addiction. It’s true: even the most “usual” individual will go insane as a result of the tremendous stress caused by divorce and the financial consequences of any addiction.
When you want immediate gratification, you are looking for a fast cure for your problems. However, because the breakup is associated with agony and a manipulative husband, this cure is not a long-term option. You should still indulge, but restraint is recommended after the breakdown of the marriage.
Additionally, it is very obvious that while loose women may make you feel relieved, needed, and even happier for a night, you can wake up feeling even more alone than before. Returning to an empty apartment might not be the most thrilling thing in the universe, but simple repairs may help repair your damaged self-esteem. Loneliness after divorce allows you to discover yourself.
9. Don’t let your Divorce Affect Your Children
Divorced men seem to begrudge their former spouses custody of their children, and childless men may begrudge their spouse’s possession of the house. The truth is that in divorce negotiations with men, one should think twice because it will impact their entire life.
And if your access to your children is limited, stop accusing their mother in front of them. Other than that, be a good father and spend more time with your daughters, showering them with as much affection as possible. Bear in mind that the easiest and, in certain cases, the only way to teach your children self-respect is by example. Therefore, be the father to whom your children would look up!
10. Don’t lose Control over Your Emotions and Behavior
Men often inhibit emotions such as rage, annoyance, fury, guilt, and bitterness in order to avoid the societal stigma associated with breakdown. This may result in an unexpected emotional outburst at an inopportune time and venue.
As human, you understand what it entails to own your reactions and to possess the ability to exert self-control when you and others really need it. Therefore, stop causing physical or emotional damage. Bear in mind that every emotion is essentially energy that you can transform such that it serves you rather than kills you; thus, learn how to cope with divorce as a human.